My name is Laura Matsue. I am a writer and meditation teacher who lives in Canada, but I also sort of live everywhere, as I have had a fairly nomadic way of existing for most of my adult life. I share many of my adventures and journeys on my Instagram.

If you like my writing, you can buy my first book: “Diamond Vibration” on Amazon.

That is the seemingly boring and simple explanation of who I am, so I would like to tell you a story about myself that goes much deeper than that.

When I was a kid I contracted a flesh eating disease that brought me to a very high fever. I didn’t know what was going on at the time, but I almost died, and in that very high fever, I had experiences where I touched God. It felt like the most powerful amount of infinite love that a human can experience, but I was not experiencing it as a human, I was experiencing it as God. I didn’t really understand it at the time, how could I be god? I’m just a kid? God is a woman? (PS. I don’t think I am God. I think we are ALL God.)

This feeling followed me for my whole life in many ways, and I believe it’s where I got confidence, my sense of humor, as well as my depth of love for the world.

Later, in my adulthood, I realized that what I was experiencing back then was a very high state of consciousness that is typically brought during near death experiences.

Now, fast forward to my teenage years. I had pretty much always known my whole life that I wanted to be a writer, also, my entire life, I had a deep love of music. I played classical piano growing up, and later I became obsessed with every band that spoke to my heart. It was the only thing that gave me the transcendent experience of feeling truly alive. So, I started to write articles about my favorite bands, and shortly after, I became a music journalist. I did this for a while, until I developed a very serious drug addiction to pretty much anything that I could get my hands on. I cycled through them all, as I was trying to escape a deep and profound feeling of loss I had inside me. Turns out, that experience of ‘touching god’ was going to be the happiest I was going to get in this lifetime. Everything else around me was difficult, my parents had a messy divorce when I was young, I grew up being bullied by people because of my race (which is not really a race, it is a mixture of races), and I got into a string of really bad relationships. I couldn’t really find much positive meaning in my life other than those moments of escape that I found in music. And then, as the drugs became more prevalent, the music started to fade out of my consciousness, and the only meaning I found in life was in escaping through drugs. The truth was, I wanted to die, and many times, I almost did. In these moments, I touched God again.

Years and years of intensely traumatizing experiences later, I had my awakening. My life fell apart; I was just coming out of a detox center on Vancouver’s downtown Eastside and decided to reignite a past relationship with an ex. It turned into a nightmare – and I had to move out: immediately; which left me homeless, in winter, with my body painfully recovering from years of abusing it. I know this is pretty dark, but the reason why I am writing this is so if anyone here reads this is in the same position, I want them to know: I have been through all of it too. And you can get out of where you are. You can overcome anything – but the first step you have to take is to merely survive the experience. This means, you have to choose to live.

A voice in me somehow knew that the solution to my reoccurring traumas was something that had to be solved internally rather than externally, and since I had really bad experiences with psychiatry, I was too terrified to ask them for help. Plus, I didn’t want them to label me, and put me on drugs. So, I started healing myself with tools I could use at home, for free, and could access anywhere. I started with doing yoga alone in my room, so no one could see me, and this expanded into a daily yoga and meditation routine that I have been practicing now for 5 years.

The basic healing components that brought me into a deeper awakening have included yoga, veganism, meditation, crystal healing, astrology, health and nutrition, energy work, kundalini yoga, dream interpretation, vitamins, journaling, connecting to nature, and mastering present moment awareness – which means, it has been completely holistic. I also haven’t been to any therapists. I have found, unpacked, and healed the traumas I experienced from soul seeking, self-help, and the insights that arose from my own consciousness during or after meditation. I am not saying this is the only way, or that using these same techniques will work for everyone – but it is how -I- did it. So, it can be done.

Now I serve as a writer, spiritual coach, and meditation teacher to anyone who is looking to regain balance and a sense of purpose in their life too.

I am available for teaching, talks, or interviews at jeunemagie@gmail.com

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Laura Matsue @ Everipedia