The majority of humans carry an immense amount of pain in their bodies; often that which they are unaware of. This technologically and intellectually focused modern world is becoming more and more one in which we mostly live in our heads. This cuts us off from the subtler energies that continually arise in the body. We lean our heads forward and look at our screens – a movement which, over time, almost literally disconnects our head from our bodies, as our spinal column collapses forwards the vertebrae disconnects from its alignment, cutting us off from the kundalini life-force energy of our spine.
Because of this disconnection, we then tend to (unconsciously) go seeking for situations that will resolve this pain somehow, however, from a soul level we often instead are led through time-consuming karmic journeys. Our suppressed pain leads us towards looking to find pain-relief outside of ourselves, as we wound-bond with people who we wishfully hope can heal these hurt and suppressed parts of ourselves. Through our desperation, we may often end up heartbroken and disappointed; for even if we gain some momentary relief from the experience, we are ultimately led time and time again to the same lesson — that nothing outside of us can truly relieve our suffering. It is a job that must be done from the inside out.
What our suffering is really asking of us is Presence. Through the light of placing our own awareness in our bodies, we begin to realize that this physical vehicle that we reside in is a map of our past — a cumulation of feelings that haven’t been felt. The tension we hold onto in our bodies is made up of the memories and experiences that we have not yet let go of. Ironically, our inability to let go of these experiences in our bodies leads us into situations where we replay similar experiences to these original traumas. It’s hard to see if these replays are real or imagined as sometimes our embodied experience may feel discomfort from what is essentially a safe situation, because the trauma that is held in the body is in a constant state of post-traumatic stress, it’s fight or flight responses actively always expecting the pain of the past to repeat itself.
The deeper we go into our bodies through spiritual practice or pure awareness, the more and more we realize that we hold onto every memory we have experienced. We hold onto memories in our muscles, our organs, even down in our bones; yes, even within our skeleton there is a feeling of tension that comes from these suppressed emotions, and these spaces where we hold on are where we are restricting our freedom to be embodied and present.
At some point we may recognize that something energetically is off, and seek different “healers”; teachers, bodyworkers, reiki masters, therapists, etc. — hoping they can cure us, and it may help for a period. But any good healer can only bring attention to the suffering we are already experiencing but have been suppressing; and many are gifted at guiding us through this, and perhaps they may help bring us back into alignment by offering us important skills that can assist us —yet the permanent healing of our bodies comes from our awareness of our emotions, our willingness to feel what comes up in each moment, and this can only be healed by giving our bodies constant Presence. Even the desire to constantly seek “healing” can be a distraction from our healing process.
There is nothing outside of us which can bring the constant awareness of Presence back into our lives for us. Mastering the ability to stay present, in all experiences, is a full-time waking-life job that we must endeavor as we heal our own fragment of this experience of consciousness.
Through our own awareness we also begin to “See” ourselves, and through this inner vision, we allow ourselves to experience true Love — true love experienced as the light of our own awareness. As we allow ourselves to become embodied, feeling into our bodies in response to different people, emotions, and stimulus – we allow ourselves to be truly SEEN and FELT — by the love of the awareness we have gifted ourselves.